The Food Language Your Kids Are Learning (And How to Change It)

A girl in my class said, "I was good today - I didn't have dessert." She was eight years old.

After 30 years teaching cooking to 50,000+ students, I've heard kids absorb language about food that teaches them shame instead of nourishment. 

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The language we use around food teaches kids more than nutrition - it teaches them about worthiness, control, and their relationship with their bodies.

The other day in class, a girl looked at me after finishing her food and said:

"I was good today—I didn't have dessert."

And I just paused. Because I've been hearing that kind of thing a lot lately.

"That's bad for you."

"I'm not allowed to eat that."

"I had too many carbs yesterday."

They're young. But already fluent in the language of restriction and reward.

And while the words are about food, the message underneath is bigger: Worthiness. Rules. Judgment.

Here's the part that might sting (but stay with me): This kind of thinking doesn't come out of nowhere. Kids absorb it—quietly, constantly—from us. From culture. From casual comments. From what we say and what we model.

Now—this is not about blame. This is about noticing. Because honestly? We've all done it. Me too.

You might be someone who avoids sugar, or skips flour, or eats in a way that supports your body. That's fine. That's yours. But there's a crucial difference between making choices for health and attaching moral value to those choices. When we label our choices as "good," or "bad," or say we were "being good" by not eating something—we teach more than we realize.

We teach that food has morality. That bodies need to earn their place. That pleasure should be negotiated.

Balance isn't just about moderation. It's about flexibility. The ability to pivot, listen, adjust, and trust. That's a life skill—on and off the plate.

This isn't about eating dessert or not. It's about the message underneath the menu.

When you think about what you want most for your kids—confidence, joy, freedom, curiosity—is the language you're using about food in alignment with those values?

We can still guide. We can still support healthy habits. But we can also make space for neutrality. For grace. For real, honest conversations.

Instead of "I was good today—I didn't have dessert," we might say "I'm listening to what my body wants today." Instead of "That cake is bad," try "That cake is something we enjoy sometimes."

This is exactly why our camps create a space where children can explore food without judgment or moral labels—where cooking becomes about connection rather than restriction, and where we practice the language of curiosity instead of control

Let's nourish them—and ourselves—with more than rules. Let's give them language that leaves room to grow.

What language around food do you want your children to inherit?

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